A Bunch Of Songs Dedicated To Whom Else But Link
by Dark Shedevil
Summary: A bunch of songs dedicated to everyone's favorite pointy eared Hyilan, Link! Songs here mimic many famous songs, but are rewritten to suit Link's lifestyle. WARNING: Due to the composer's incredibly lame and perverted song writing ability, it's PG13.
1. Everytime LINK STYLE!

-A Bunch Of Songs Dedicated To Whom Else But Link-

Composer's Chat Section: Hi everyone! Here's a bunch of songs dedicated to whom else but Link. As everyone knows he kicks ass and is a total cutie! ;) So any suggestions for a song to spoof with Link involved please review and mention the song's name along with the artist who sings it (Gotta give credit you know?). Until then. I will be adding more songs once I reorganize the fun lyrics. Note. All these songs are cheesy, extremely preverted (my entire fault) and incredibly lame in every way.

Disclaimer: I definitely don't want to get sued by Ms. (Or so to say Mrs.) Britney Spears because as everyone knows she has some damn good lawyers. But this song is all hers and not mine. But I will tamper with this song but still give credit to the 'Pop Princess.'

Chapter 1: Everytime (Link Style)

Song Title: Everytime

Artist: Britney Spears

Rewritten By: "Duh!" Me!

Look at him, Take his hand

Why does Link, Think and thennnnnnnnnn

His 'sword' is strong, Maybe it's really 'Longggggggggg'

(Chorus)

Everytime Link tries to fly he falls

Without Navi he feels so small

Guess she feeds him baby

And everytime he sees Zelda in his dreams, he sees her face it's haunting him

Guess they need him baby

(Ends Chorus)

[Singer Breaths Uncontrollably]

They make believe that you are near, Fangirls will scream then comes the tears

What have I done, People say this song has no fun

(Yet again the chorus)

Everytime Link tries to fly he falls

Without Navi he feels so small

Guess she feeds him baby

And everytime he sees Zelda in his dreams, he sees her face it's haunting him

Guess they need him baby

(Ends Chorus)

The storm guy made it rainnnnnn, Please just kill him

Link's Weakness caused you pain, And it's weird that we have nooooooo shame

Little twinkle sound it played.)- (Dun-dun-dun-dun- -dundun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dundun-dun –dun-dundun-dun-dun) [Hears loud footsteps coming from the door. IT'S LINK!!!]

At night girls pray, Link would never ever turn gay

(Once again the chorus)

Everytime Link tries to fly he falls

Without Navi he feels so small

Guess she feeds him baby

And everytime he sees Zelda in his dream he sees her face it's haunting him

Guess they need him baby

(Ends Chorus)

Author's errrr… Composer's Notes: Like I had mentioned before… All the songs are cheesy as hell. It might now make sense to you right now on how incredibly lame these songs are, but Link is hot man. But whatever. So if you have any song suggestions and what you want to say about Link review and tell me all about it. More songs to come. Note this is composer's fault for such lame and emotionally dull songs, not the artists who sing the songs.


	2. Link Will Be Screwed Yay!

-A Bunch Of Songs Dedicated To Whom Else But Link-  
  
_**Author's Notes:**_ I want to thank Black Triforce and Reaka, for reviewing my little charade of song messing. I know next song is gonna be Sweet Child O' Mine, but it's going to be called Sweet Linky Of Mine. Ahhh...So many songs to mess up so little time. So any suggestions for a song to spoof with Link involved please review and mention the song's name along with the artist who sings it (Gotta give credit you know?). Until then. I will be adding more songs once I reorganize the fun lyrics. Note. All these songs are cheesy, extremely preverted (my entire fault) and incredibly lame in every way. Have a nice day.  
  
**_Disclaimer:_** Nope, this song doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Maroon 5. So wherever you are or whatever you're doing '_Cough'_ screwing groupies _'Cough'_ please do NOT sue. I don't have much money, let's see... I got about 47 cents, that's like nothing to you, so don't sue, for the sake of me and well me.  
  
_**Chapter 1:**_ Link Will Be Screwed  
  
_**Original Song Title:**_ She Will Be Loved  
  
**_Artist:_** Maroon 5  
  
**_Rewritten By:_** Me, of course, but thanks to Reaka for song suggestion. Please you are warned, just like I warned you a couple of times before, do not read this if you sensitive to SEX! Ha ha ha ha ha! There I said it. No j/k, but this rewritten song, really leaves mental images, so be careful!  
  
Zelda's a Hyrule queen of only sixteen  
Link had some trouble with himself  
She was always there to help him  
Yet he always belonged to someone else (Author's Notes: DUH! ME! J/K)  
  
He walked several miles and miles  
And wound up at the floor  
I've had done you so many times but somehow  
I want more o.0  
  
I don't mind spending everyday  
Out on your fan corner in the pouring rain  
Look for the Hyilan with the pointy ears  
Guess I'll just go to Sears  
And Link will be Screwed  
Link will be Screwed  
  
Crap on his window so I knock on his door  
I want to make Link feel oh so full  
I know I tend to get so insecure  
It doesn't matter he just wants more 0.0  
  
It's not always fire arrows and fairy flies  
It's compromise that moves us along  
My heart is full and my door's always open  
You can come anytime you want (Author's Notes: Come one ladies you know what _**that **_means.)  
  
I don't mind spending everyday  
Out on your fan corner in the pouring rain  
Look for the Hyilan with the pointy ears  
Guess I'll just go to Sears  
And Link will be Screwed  
Link will be Screwed  
  
And Link will be Screwed  
And Link will be Screwed  
  
I know where you hide  
Hey man, look in the tunic it's _**inside  
**_Know all of the things that make you who you are  
I know that fangirls will try to take it all  
Comes back and begs _**me**_ to smack him if it gets **_small_** (Wink, Wink)  
  
Crap on his window so I knock on his door  
He wants to make you feel oh so full  
  
Link Will Be Screwed (repeated)  
  
Please don't don't say you're Bi, cause he's all mine.  
  
**_Preverted errr.... Composer's Notes:_** Well I really have nothing to say here, except, REVIEW! REVIEW IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP ON WRITING MORE LINKY SON, AND OH YEAH SEND IN SONGS THAT I COULD WRITE ABOUT! (Sits there panting.) Okay then, until next song! One question though, please tell me if I should rate it R? It does have preverted stuff in it, so I wanna know. 


	3. Sweet Linky ‘O Mine

-A Bunch Of Songs Dedicated To Whom Else But Link-

**_Author's Notes:_** Yay! Third song of mockery. I'm having sooooo much fun. I wanna thank InsaneCrazyGirl for reviewing my story. As for song selections, here are the upcoming songs. 'Maybe Katie' by the Barenaked Ladies, 'All The Small Things' by Blink 182 and 'Janie's Got A Gun' by Aerosmith. Thanks to Reaka's, Black Triforce's and InsaneCrazyGirl's suggestions. So any suggestions for a song to spoof with Link involved please review and mention the song's name along with the artist who sings it (Gotta give credit you know?). Until then. I will be adding more songs once I reorganize the fun lyrics. Note: All these songs are cheesy, extremely perverted (my entire fault) and incredibly lame in every way.

**_Disclaimer:_** Now, here's a band that I truly want to get sued by. No kidding. I mean they have the finest guy on Earth no not Link, Axl Rose. But now's he's like ugly so what's the point? But if you recall back in the 80's he was pretty damn hot! He looked like Link. So if you're reading this Guns 'N' Roses (Which I highly doubt), I only used this song as a way of entertainment, and you Axl to come and fu- Err… Just don't sue you guys.

**_Chapter 3-_** Sweet Linky 'O Mine

**_Original Song title:_** Sweet Child 'O Mine

**_Artist:_** The ever so rocking band! Guns 'N' Roses

**_Rewritten By_**: "Duh!" Me!

**_Hey Special Appearance By:_** SHEIK!!! (Just for all you Shiek fans out there.)

**_Location:_** A auditorium, somewhere in Hyrule, About 100,000 fans start filling up the stage screaming and cursing for the show to start.

(Awesome Guitar Riff Opening. Here she is the author, in tight leather pants and a 'I Heart Link' shirt with a microphone in one hand and a sword in her other (I donno?) And a man dressed in white clothing, is behind her playing the guitar. I wonder who it is?)

La-La-La-La-La-La… Link-La.

Link's got a smile that it seems to me  
Just a look at him naked and then you'll see  
Where everything  
Was as fresh as the Hyilan sky-y-y-y  
Now and then when I see Link's face  
Just looking at him makes me lose my pace   
And if I stared too long  
I'd probably break down and cry  
  
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, W-Whoa, Sweet Linky 'O Mine

Who-o-o-o-a  
Sweet Link of mine

(Yet another awesome as Sheik plays the electric guitar with the author.) [Hey a girl can dream right?]  
  
He's got eyes of the bluest skies  
As if they thought of rain  
I hate to look into those eyes  
So at times I ask if I am insane (My doctor says I am. WELL YOU KNOW WHAT DR. KNOW-IT-ALL I AIN'T. SO WHY DON'T YOU F&(K OFF BEFORE YOU DO YOU'RE A &%&%&%&%$$%$&%&$%&% FOR TELLING ME THAT!)  
Link's hair reminds me  
of a Ganondorf's place  
Where as a child I'd hide  
And pray for the thunder  
And the rain  
To quietly make Link all **_MINE!_** (MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ALL MINE!)  
  
Whoa-a-a-a-a- Sweet Linky 'O Mine  
W-w-w-w-hoa Sweet Link of mine

(Another Guitar solo, as now Shiek, rips off his white shirt, and shows off every hot muscle in his shirt. DAMN! HOW SEXY IS THAT? Right about now every girl reading this and everyone in the audience has a nosebleed, including a few guys? 0.0 Whatever. I just keep singing while I look at Shiek, uncontrollably gazing at his hot body.)  
  
Where do we go   
Where do we go now

Ahhhhhhhhh! Ah!

Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhoa! Yeah Link!

Link Link Link Link!

Where do we go  
Sweet Linky 'O Mine

Yes, Link let's go the be-

(Everyone in the audience turns dead quiet, even Shiek stops playing his sexy guitar. I turn around, and there is Link! I faint, and Link picks up the microphone, as of NOW EVERYONE EITHER READING THIS, OR THAT IS IN THE AUDIENCE HAS A NOSEBLEED AND FAINTS, ALL EXCEPT LINK.)

0.o "Huh? Did I do something?" Linky just shrugs and leaves off.

Guns 'N' Roses Groupie, Errr…. Composer's Notes: Sorry guys, I always wanted to do Sweet Link 'O Mine spoof, next songs are what I mentioned above. The song was kind short so I decided to put Sheik as a special appearance. So here's another favor from you guys. Tell me whom do you want to make more special appearances? For future use.


	4. Linky's Got A Gun, AHHHH!

-A Bunch Of Songs Dedicated To Whom Else But Link- 

**_Author's Note: _**Here we are it's the fourth chapter, of pure adultery fun! Well maybe not that adultery, but you catch my drift. This song here is one of my ultra fave. So thank goodness someone requested it. Anyways next on the Link mockery playlist it's "Maybe Katie." And "All the Small Things." Await for that. Now to the bat mobile. So any suggestions for a song to spoof with Link involved please review and mention the song's name along with the artist who sings it (Gotta give credit you know?). Until then. I will be adding more songs once I reorganize the fun lyrics. Note: All these songs are cheesy, extremely perverted (my entire fault) and incredibly lame in every way.

****

**_Disclaimer:_** Of course Aerosmith is an awesome band. They lead singer is fine a hell too, but of course not as fine as Link. But either way. So don't sue, my money is like gone, the only thing I see in my wallet is probably (opens wallet and little moth flies out.) Well nothing… So don't sue, because I don't own this song and is only using it for entertainment purposes. And Steven Tyler when you get the chance. CALL ME BABY! ;)

**_Chapter 4-_** Linky's Got A Gun, AHHHH!

**_Original Song Title: _**Janey's Got A gun. (But since there's no Janey in Zelda, Linky will just have to do.)

**_Artist- _**The quite good looking but is like 60-year-old band: AEROSMITH!

**_Rewritten By: _**Me and Shiek. (Yes I hired him too.)

**_Special Appearance By:_** THE ALMIGHTY LOOKING EXTREMELY FINE THING THAT HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO WALK ON THIS GOOD-FOR-NOTHING PLANET, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I'VE WOULD'VE DONE WITHOUT HIM, BUT IT'S THE ONE AND ONLY… LINK. (Author bows down, and so does everyone who is reading this.) "OH LINK WE'RE NOT WORTHY, WE'RE NOT WORTHY!"

****

**_Location: _**Hyrule Bank. Inside ground and me and Sheik are doing a concert to benefit the 'make a wish' program, but since we've been tricked just to do a concert for free, we really had no other choice.

(The bank's light turns off, and smog goes out everywhere as author is dressing up like Link, and Sheik plays the guitar next to her. Of course Sheik plays his oh so sexy guitar, you know with that guitar he reminds me of Prince with that yellow guitar of his, but anyways… The speedy beat beings and author starts shaking her ass and singing.)

Dum, dum, dum, Linky what have you done

Dum, dum, dum, it's the sound of his gun

Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done

Dum, dum, dum, it's the sound, it's the sound... Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah....

--------

Linky's Got A Gun Linky's Got A Gun Look at him with a gun is a whole lotta fun (It is. I mean it!)

Better than lookin' straight at the sun (DON'T EVER DO THAT, YOU MIGHT GO BLIND AND END UP LOOKING AT BLACK STUFF FOREVA.)

What did Zelda do What did she put you through (A/N: Cause I swear if she even tried to touch you, just say the word and I'll F&(ing kill her to pieces.)

--------

They say when Linky was arrested

They found him, and went insane But man, he had it comin'

Now that Linky's Got A Gun He ain't never gonna be the same

--------

Linky's Got A Gun Linky's Got A Gun

His dog day's just begun

Now everybody is on the run

Tell me now it's untrue

That Linky ain't dating me, but he's dating you! (Very unlikely.)

--------

He jacked the little bitty baby

The man has got to be insane

They say the spell that he was under

The lightnin' and the thunder

Knew that someone had to stop the rain Run away, run away from the pain

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

--------

Run away, run away from the pain Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Run away, run away, run, run you'll have nothing to gain

Linky's Got A Gun Linky's Got A Gun

His dog day's just begun Now everybody is on the run

What did Zelda do Hey Link, remember last night, well I.O.U.

--------

I had to take him down easy

And put a bullet in his brain He said 'cause nobody believes me The man was such a sleeze

Go ahead Link STRIP TEASE!!!

--------

Run away, run away from the pain

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Run away, run away, run, run away Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Run away, run away, run, run away

--------

Linky's Got A Gun Linky's Got A Gun

Linky's Got A Gun Everybody is on the run Linky's Got A Gun

--------

His dog day's just begun

Now everybody's on the run (Honey, honey what's your problem)

'Cause Linky's Got A Gun (Tell me it ain't right)

Linky's Got A Gun (Zelda's now in fright)

His dog day's just begun (That made you scream at night)

Linky's Got A Gun His dog day's just begun

Now everybody's on the run

--------

Linky's Got A Gun

--------

The author finishes singing her song, when she notices a man dressed in a black cloak enter the bank.

**Bank Lady: **Yes sir how may I help you?

**Cloaked Guy: **Withdraw from my account please.

**Bank Lady: **Okay I need your name.

**Cloaked Guy: **I don't think I can tell you that here.

**Bank Lady: **Alrighty then how about you show your face?

**Cloaked Guy: **I can't do that either.

Me getting angry of the man totally screwing up my performance I ripped apart his black cloak.

**Dark Shedevil:** OH MY FU&&&%&ING GOSH!

**Random Fangirl: **Hey look everyone it's LINK!

(Everyone either there or reading this constantly panics. Even me.)

**Random Fangirl: **Come on girls let's get him!

**Dark Shedevil: **Hey you guys came here for MY concert. Not to be chasing Linky… OHHHH! LINKY…

**Random Fanboy: **I don't remember you.

**Dark Shedevil: **(Slaps herself silly) I'm the girl who sang 'Linky's got a gun' remember?

**Police Man: **(Points at Link)Hey everyone Link has a gun!

**Farm Guy: **(Takes out pitchfork) Yeah let's get him!****

**C.I.A Agent: **(Takes out club) Come on!

**Sheik: **(Sarcastically)Yes, let's go get him!

**Link: **No! I don't have a gun. I have a sword!

**Random Fangirl: **Pfff! Right… We heard _THAT _before. Come on Link impersonator, we know the real Link is a good guy and ain't a pervert like you.

**The Deranged People In The Bank: **Let's get him! (Start chasing Link)

**Link: **Ahh! Dark Shedevil, Sheik HELP ME!

**Dark Shedevil: **(Walks away whistling the other way.)

**Sheik: **(Smoking a cigarette)****

**Link: **AHHHHHH! SOMEONE HELP ME!

And so the day ended with me and Sheik taking a dinner date to Denny's, Sheik going to the hospital for steak overdose and me realizing that the guy in the bank, really was Link. So here I am visiting Link right next to Sheik's hospital room, begging for forgiveness. The day ended well.

**_Aerosmith's Bitch, er…. Composer's Note: _**Okay yes I know, not funny. But next time I'll try better. So stop whatever the hell you're doing and review my story. Or else.


End file.
